Practice Makes Perfect
by dinabar
Summary: Harry can never tell a new girlfriend he's a pathologist, so Zak steps in and offers to help.  Follows the scene from 'First Casualty' not literature just fluff, over cautious T
1. Chapter 1

**Here's a little half term gift to all you stressed out summer exam bunnies and anyone else who needs a smile. It has no merit whatsoever only that it is designed to give you a laugh and because I promised Lilypad some fluff back in January. I know I write interminably slowly but it's here now and a special thank you to her for all the reviews she left for the 'To bring him home.'**

**This is based on a little scene from 'First Casualty' so nothing post that, so no 'Bloodlines' trauma and no Anna for which I know there will be resounding cheers around the globe. As usual it's all finished so should all pop up reasonable quickly. Enjoy and don't forget to review and give me a smile back.**

_How did it go last night?_

_It was ok_

_What happened last night?_

_Harry went on a blind date._

_There's a joke in there somewhere._

_It wasn't exactly a blind date; it was a friend of a friend of a friend._

_Did you tell her?_

_Err, No. Not exactly_

_Tell her what?_

_Oh Harry always gets nervous about telling them he's a pathologist._

_It's a mood killer isn't it? The champagne is bubbling the lights are low and suddenly I find myself burbling about posthumous rectal temperatures._

_Phone rings_

_Speak of the devil._

"You should help him then," Zak said.

"Help him? He doesn't need help picking up 20 something's!" Nikki retorted.

"No, help him get over his fear of telling them he's a pathologist. I thought you were supposed to be his friend?" Zak replied.

"What do you have in mind?" Nikki asked her curiosity peeked now.

* * *

><p>"You haven't moved and you're staring at Zak. What exactly is going on here?" Harry demanded as he walked back into the cutting room.<p>

"Nothing," Nikki blurted out guiltily.

"There's something," Harry said, standing his ground and looking between the two of them. Zak might have been slightly taller but Harry had the edge, in presence and build over the younger man, and he was using a full hand of alpha male cards as he glared at his colleagues. One of them would crumble. It was inevitable.

"I just suggested that Nikki might be able to help you, get over your issues with posthumous rectal temperatures." Zak admitted.

"I do not have ISSUES with posthumous rectal temperatures," Harry repeated. Sometimes he really hated the way everyone knew everybody else's business in this place. He should never have said anything.

"What exactly did you suggest?" Harry asked noting the flush in Nikki's cheeks and the mischievous look in her eyes that made him terribly nervous.

A throaty chuckle burst from Nikki's mouth, which she immediately covered with her hand, but her eyes danced and sparkled and begged him to relax for five minutes and indulge them in the silly game they had been discussing.

"Well," began Nikki, when her giggling had subsided. "Zak here thought it would be easier for you to explain about your job, if you had some practice doing it, so he came up with a list of suitable...

"And unsuitable!" interrupted Zak with a smile.

"Yes, suitable and unsuitable girls..."

"Women," interrupted Zak again, now sporting a mock serious face.

"Yes, yes, lots of girls and you could practice telling them what you do." Nikki finished triumphantly.

"Amy the affable accountant," suggested Zak

"Barbara the buxom botanist and Chloe the charismatic chemist," chuckled Nikki.

"Debbie the deranged and divorced dancer, Edie the exquisite endocrinologist," Zak continued.

"Oi!" shouted Harry, but Zak and Nikki were having too much fun to be able to stop.

"Francine the frisky foreign language student…" she giggled.

"Nikki!" thundered Harry.

"I was only gone a minute or so, did you make it all the way through the alphabet at my expense!" Harry chided, not entirely sure he was enjoying the game as much as they were.

"Well not all of it," admitted Zak "but I fancied the sound of Vera the voluptuous Vegas show girl!"

"And how exactly was this list of fictional women supposed to help me?"

"Oh, this is the brilliant bit, I knew there was a joke here somewhere," Zak said, his face suddenly more animated than his colleagues had ever seen it.

"Blind dates!" Zak declared proudly.

"But you made the girls up!" Harry replied exasperated.

"They don't have to be real; practice makes perfect and all that." Zak explained.

"But if they're not real, how am I supposed to talk to them?" Harry asked.

"You role play," Zak insisted.

"Who with? I'm not chatting you up, I've more important things to worry about like my up-coming hearing and anyway you know I'm a pathologist." Having delivered his speech, Harry turned and walked away.

"Not with me, I'm just along for the show," Zak called after him. "With Nikki! She can be any girl you want her to be: Amy, Barbara."

"Me?" squeaked Nikki.

"Of course you!" Zak replied, "you said you'd help a friend."

Harry stopped in his tracks.

"Chloe, Debbie," listed Zak.

"Alright, alright I remember the list and I think we can probably lose Debbie" he called over his shoulder and turned to look at his two friends. Nikki was still smiling but there was a hint of worry showing in her eyes, as if she realised that the game had gone too far.

"Practice makes perfect," goaded Zak.

Harry crossed the room and stood in front of them. He looked from one to another assessing who looked the most guilty like a teacher in front of two miscreant pupils, working out who deserved the bigger punishment.

"I choose the bar and the time." Harry stated unequivocally.

"You're buying all the drinks, all night," he commanded, staring at Zak.

"This goes no further than the three of us," his final pronouncement as he stalked off.

"This is going to be priceless," smiled Zak.

"Seven o'clock, O'Connell's, just off West Road," called Harry his words punctuated by the flap flap of the double doors.

Nikki looked at Zak, and quickly to the floor. 'What had she just agreed to do?"


	2. Zak

**Just because I forgot it last time, all Silent Witness characters belong to the BBC**

**Thanks for the reviews, so happy I'm giving you all a laugh.**

Zak smiled to himself and began to get out the instruments Nikki needed and thought that maybe tonight would be the night to break some of those rules. He recalled his start at the Lyell Centre, he'd been looking forward to his first day, his first real job since university and he was hoping Charlie his predecessor would have lots of tips and good advice for him. On the Tube on the way home he had been disappointed; the day had been a complete waste of time. He hadn't been shown where any of the equipment was, or not much of it. He'd had the grand tour of course, but not the details of the place. Charlie had sat him down and said something like:

"You'll learn where all the stuff is, open the drawers until you find it, you'll be fine. Here's the stuff you actually need to know," and then spent the next hour gossiping about her colleagues. He'd tried to stop her a number of times, to get her to tell him what the really important parts of the job were but she had been insistent. These **were** the most important parts of the job.

Don't expect any conversation between Harry and Nikki to make sense to anyone but them. Always assume they are using a language you don't understand or telepathy.

Never ever interrupt them when they are arguing.

Never never never appear to take sides in an argument.

Never ever pass on the white lie that one has told you to tell the other.

Never underestimate the amount they can drink.

Always stay alert and be prepared to duck if it looks like the equipment is going to start flying.

Always check the locker room is empty before going in.

At all costs leave Leo in the dark about anything that goes on that is not work related.

Do your job well, aim for inconspicuousness and make lots of coffee.

Never underestimate the strength of their friendship.

Zak had been cross, he hadn't taken this job to be a tea boy. Charlie had left her list of rules as a screen saver and on a print out in his desk. It made him feel like a child. He was perfectly capable of dealing with his colleagues whatever they were like. He'd experienced a fair few odd balls on his way through life. Two pathologists were hardly going to give him trouble. Admittedly they sounded a bit quirky but then it wasn't a normal person's obvious career choice was it? They were bound to be a bit odd.

They had both been out at a scene that first day, so it was on his second day, his first day without Charlie to hold his hand that he had met them. He had prepped the room and was pretty satisfied that he'd done a reasonably good job at it. Harry had nodded to him and said,

"You must be Zak, hi, Harry Cunningham," and waved a gloved hand at him, unable to shake in case of cross contamination.

"And Nikki Alexander," Harry had continued, gesturing his head towards Nikki, and that had been it. A couple of times they'd called him Charlie by accident, but mostly he did as he was told and had the right equipment to hand as they needed it. He wondered what on earth had happened to make Charlie so adamant that he understood her rules, his first impression was that they seemed reasonably normal.

He was beginning to understand by the end of the first week. He'd not had the skull saw ready for them one day. Harry was certain he had asked for it, as Zak had been there when he and Nikki had been discussing the injuries seen at the crime scene. Thinking back through the day on his way home he had realised what had happened. Harry and Nikki had been discussing the injuries on the body, but neither of them ever finished a sentence before the other one had begun on the next theory. So he never ever heard any of their conclusions. This must be the telepathy thing he surmised.

But as time went by he and he began to get to know them for himself he realised that they were an odd pair.

Nikki was a host of contradictions. On the one hand she was an attractive woman but instead of working for some fancy airline, or model agency she spent most of her time indoors cutting up dead people under artificial lights or traipsing around muddy and bloody crime scenes. She had the face of an angel, and at times the language of a sailor. She was dedicated and professional but was never closed and detached from the victims as he'd imagined a pathologist should be.

Harry had the temper; mostly Zak noted, vented towards Nikki, but Leo sometimes became engulfed in the raging tornado. However it was impossible not to notice Harry's protectiveness towards Nikki. The hostility and suspicion with which he regarded the police officers and other men that came into contact with her was palpable. But her knack for finding trouble was legendary. He hadn't needed any notes from Charlie about that. The Lyell Centre folklore was full of her escapades and the footnote to all of them was that somehow Harry Cunningham had been there just in time to avert the inevitable disaster.

The last thing Charlie had said to him as she had left, carrying her 'We'll miss you balloon' and a small bouquet of flowers came back to him time and time again.

"Don't think Ross and Rachel, think of a divorced couple who are still in love and tread carefully!"

A few months in and he was finally getting to grips with them. His best mate's parents had been like it. They couldn't live with each other, but seemingly couldn't do without each other either or maybe it was just doing without the sex. So every once in a while they would try and get back together, it always failed until they both admitted it was the sex they wanted and didn't even try for the relationship. After that his mate's home life was a breeze. Everyone was happy. He wondered if it would solve Harry and Nikki's tempestuous relationship too.

No that was far too simplistic; that didn't do justice to whatever it was between his two colleagues. He'd learned early on to peek through the door of the locker room rather than just enter. That was the one rule of Charlie's that he always abided by. He had no idea how Harry could change his clothes in front of her without either of them batting an eyelid, but he made sure if they were in there, he could wait.

He was longing to break some of Charlie's rules, just to shake some things up a bit and this morning talking to Nikki had been just the chance he'd been waiting for.

'Well' he thought 7pm is show time, it was time for some fun.


	3. Nikki

Nikki moved back to the body of her unknown female and prepared to set to work. She had a slight smile on her face. Anyone in the observation room would imagine it was a result of the silly game they had just played, but it wasn't that. Nor was it the fact that she was going to let Harry Cunningham spend the evening chatting her up, while she could be as obstreperous or flirty as she liked and it was all in the name of role play.

No, it was only Thursday, and Harry had obviously forgotten. They often went for drinks at O'Connells, it was close, you could hold a conversation without having to shout and the average age of the clientele wasn't 18. Friday nights were very civilized in fact. Most of the well paid bankers and lawyers had all skipped out of town early to take the family off to the cottage in Surrey or whatever it was they did at the weekend, and the bar was left to the 'normal' people; relaxed but still buzzing.

But Thursdays, Nikki chuckled quietly. Thursday's were cocktail nights. Harry had vowed never ever to go there again on a Thursday after the last time. They had had a hilarious night. Even Leo had been laid-back and had had a laugh. They had finally made a big break on a case they'd struggled with for days and so fancied that they deserved a night out, and cocktail night it was.

She remembered Harry had dropped her into the back of a taxi, nearly losing balance himself and tumbling in after her. He had paid the driver extra to make sure he took her into her building and up to her front door. The driver had done as he was told, so Harry must have given him a significant tip. She remembered her hangover had been shocking and had vague recollections of more flirting but then that seemed to be her default setting when drunk.

Well tonight was about having fun, she decided as she carefully peeled back the skin of the woman's chest cavity. She'd stop for a sandwich on the way, she thought. That should soak up at least one margarita and if Zak was paying…


	4. Harry

Harry had more to worry about than his colleague's childish games. He had to avoid too many showdowns with DI Harte and anyway he had agreed to meet Charlotte at nine. That should give Zak and Nikki enough time to play out their ridiculous game, him to score a couple of free beers to settle his nerves and still enough time for him to grab some food and meet Charlotte later.

Maybe Zak was right, maybe it would be helpful to practice his chat up lines, it sounded good, in theory, but to be fair Harry really would be better off practising with Zak than with Nikki. He rather suspected that Zak had underestimated Nikki, and just how she might play her side of this game. He had known her for seven years and the one thing about Nikki that he was utterly sure of, was that just when you thought you had begun to know her and understand her; to be able to predict what she would do, or how she would react to a certain situation she would do something totally different and leave you with the rug pulled from under your feet and your world turned on its head. He had learned to tread carefully over the last few years. He suspected that Zak was not going to be faced only with a large bill tonight but a whole new perspective of Nikki Alexander.

Maybe it would be a good show after all…

He smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Onto the action next time, let me know how you think it's going to go! Thanks for reading<strong>


	5. Margarita

**Thanks so much for all the reviews, I'm glad you're all having fun, and thanks for letting me know, it makes it so much more fun for me too. I think you'll enjoy Vera : ) Let me know.**

Nikki left the office at 6:30 she was determined to find something edible before going to O'Connell's. Their margaritas were fantastic and it would be a shame to be too drunk to do justice to Vera the voluptuous Vegas show girl or any of the others. She was looking forward to the evening now. Harry always liked to be in the driving seat when there was flirting to be done and she had been surprised at how uncomfortable he got when she turned the tables on him. Not that she did it often, but every once in a while she gave him a taste of his own medicine and he'd laugh it off, but she could tell he didn't like it. Well this was a chance for her to get her own back; big time and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Sure they did that other thing all the time, some would call it flirtatiousness, well when they weren't arguing but it was friendly banter, the kind of jokes you could get away with to friends. But only to friends so firm that they were closer than family, it wouldn't work on you're ordinary kind of friends. Yet on those nights when maybe she'd had a few and she couldn't help it when her flirty self-emerged; Harry always backed off. She'd come to assume over the years that it was because he didn't find her attractive; it was the only logical explanation really. And so those evenings often ended with Harry depositing her in a cab, and coughing up £50 to the driver just to make sure she got home safely. Well she wouldn't be drunk tonight, she wouldn't even be Nikki, she could be Vera or Amy or whoever and she was going to make Harry squirm.

Harry was already seated when she arrived at O'Connell's. She could see him through the window sitting in his favourite place, a small booth they often sat in on a Friday; she noted through the window he had his head in his hands. He'd obviously realised his mistake.

The bar was busy but not crowded, she flashed a broad smile at Adam the bar tender and got served almost immediately, drawing looks from the men at the bar but ignoring them all. There was no point in considering the various colourful cocktails on offer either, they did margaritas by the jugful on a Thursday, you just had to collect a new glass every time you needed a salt hit.

"I hear Zak's picking up the tab tonight," Adam said.

"Sure is," Nikki replied

"You two take it easy then, I don't want any fighting!" Adam laughed nodding his head in Harry's direction.

"We don't fight!" Nikki laughed and winked at Adam and then picking up the jug, she headed over to Harry's table.

Adam watched her go and shook his head.

Harry peeked through his fingers as Nikki put the jug down on the table.

"It's Thursday!" Harry moaned.

"Yes, it is!" Nikki replied brightly. "Margarita?"

"You got a jug, didn't you?" Harry asked without looking up.

"Of course! Well I was only thinking of Zak you know, this way he doesn't have to pay £5 a drink!"

Harry made a noise under his breath. To anyone else with his hands clasped together and his head resting on his hands it might look as if he was praying, but Nikki knew better, not that God wasn't being mentioned of course.

"Where is Zak anyway?" Nikki asked.

"Leo had him cornered in his office, when I left, he made a sign to say he'd be along in five minutes, but Leo had that lecturing look in his eye so it might be a while," Harry explained.

"Poor Zak, he could be stuck there for hours!" Nikki exclaimed.

"Exactly," Harry agreed.

"Oh well, I'm sure we could start without him," Nikki giggled and poured out her first margarita.

"I can get you a glass," she offered.

"I'll stick to the beer for now," Harry said grumpily.

They sat in silence for a while sipping their drinks. Nikki checked her watch again. Zak was going to be livid. She wondered what Leo was lecturing him about.

"Where is he?" Nikki asked again, the game losing some of its excitement without Zak to witness her triumph and Harry's discomfort.

"Forget Zak!" Harry said regarding her over the rim of his glass. "Where's Vera?"


	6. Vera

Nikki opened her eyes wide, and evaluated Harry's expression. He really did seem to be up for this. She took another sip of her drink and placed it down ostentatiously on the table. As she did so she leaned forward towards Harry, stuck out her chest and drawled:

"Well, hi there honey! What'ya looking all sour faced for?" She licked her lips provocatively and drew one finger down Harry's cheek.

Nikki saw him hesitate; for the briefest moment Harry looked like a deer trapped in head lights but then she saw him exhale a huge breath and say,

"I have a confession,"

"Oh yes honey, what's that?" Nikki asked, keeping up her American accent.

"I get drunk very quickly on tequila," Harry admitted leaning forward across the table to mirror Nikki's position.

"Then maybe you wanna stick to the beer," Nikki stated.

Harry took a long drink of his beer, his eyes never leaving hers. She began to feel the back of her neck prickle and was trying to ignore the profuse sweating from her armpits. This was not how this was supposed to be going. Where the hell was Zak?

"What about you?" Harry asked her.

"Oh, I know I get drunk very quickly on tequila, that's what makes it so fun, honey," she cooed.

"So tell me about yourself?" Harry began.

"What more do you want to know sugar? You need to know more than I get drunk very quickly on tequila?"

"Of course," Harry responded. "A gentleman never takes advantage of a lady."

"A lady, huh? Well maybe you could come to Vegas and see my show sometime. I'll show you a good time!" Nikki said and tapped him lightly on the nose with her forefinger. But as she withdrew her hand, Harry caught her wrist and held it tight in his own, jerking her whole body closer to him. Nikki was surprised as just how close Harry's face was, his eyes never leaving hers and then she heard him say:

"I think I'd like that Vera, I'd love to see you dance, I bet you look good in your costume too."

Nikki could feel herself blushing despite the pretence and as soon as Harry released her wrist she leant further back in her seat.

"Ain't you just the cutest thing! So then, what do you do when you're not avoiding drinking margaritas?" Nikki asked, looking down at her own drink desperately trying to regain the advantage in this role play, role reversal or whatever it was they were doing.

"I'm a pathologist," Harry stated succinctly.

"Oh my," replied Nikki batting her eyelashes, "that sounds important, so you're like a guidance counsellor, helping people find the right path through life, that's so amazing, it must be wonderful to have a job where you really feel like you're able to help people."

Harry was beginning to lose focus and started to laugh.

"Did I say something funny, honey?" Nikki asked looking affronted.

"Just 'cos I'm a show girl, doesn't mean I'm ignorant and all, you should have some respect," she continued.

"I'm sorry Vera, I was not laughing at you, but that's not what a pathologist does. I'm a doctor that investigates why people died." Harry explained calmly.

"Oh, that's what it is, I always wondered. Can't you just ask them?" Nikki said wide eyed.

"Not when they're dead, Vera, no," Harry said seriously.

"Oh my! They're dead, that must make it so tricky. You must be so clever. How can you find out how they died, if they're already dead?"

"Oh, there's lots of different things we can do," Harry explained.

"You must take their temperature or something then, does that help?" Nikki asked but the giggles were beginning to work their way through the Vera persona.

"I did not bring up posthumous rectal temperatures!" Harry shouted immediately pulling back into his seat. "That was you, you set it all up, and really I'm not going to be dating some half-wit show girl, you're not being any help at all, you're just having a laugh at my expense."

"Sorry" said Nikki going back to her normal voice and leaning right back against the booth.

"I liked Vera though, I thought she was fun," Nikki admitted.

"She was undoubtedly fun," Harry replied, his eyes dilating at the thought of her.

"Maybe you could try someone a little bit more up market next time," suggested Harry.

"Who do you have in mind?" asked Nikki with a wink.

* * *

><p><strong>More soon my lovelies, but let me know if it's going OTT.<strong>


	7. Amy

**For our very own Amy the affable accountant, with all the best wishes for her exams and in recognition that she is a lot smarter and more fun than her namesake here.**

**And a double helping for you as for once I had an inspiring INSET day, on how to use good literature to teach effectively (and hubbie on a golf course somewhere...)**

"What about Edie?" asked Harry.

"Edie the exquisite endocrinologist?" Nikki replied. "No, that's not going to work, you can't get to be an endocrinologist without understanding what a pathologist does," she continued. "Or is it not the fact that you are a pathologist, but what a pathologist does that creeps them out?"

"Surely, you've met some men that have been put off by your job," asked Harry.

"Hmm maybe, but I think having blond hair and breasts goes a long way to ameliorate any problems," Nikki confessed.

Harry shook his head and laughed, so far the evening wasn't turning out too badly even if it was margarita night.

"It's margarita night!" Harry said staring hard at Nikki.

"Yes," she laughed, "I thought we'd established that when I sat down."

"But, you're not even tipsy yet and you're half way through your second," Harry was staring at her, his eyes closed to a slit. "Did you eat before you came here?"

"Well, **I** knew it was Thursday," she laughed. "Now who's it to be then Amy, Barbara, Chloe?"

"Oh, go on then, start with Amy. I can't think where Zak can be? He knew we were coming to O'Connell's didn't he?"

Nikki, sipped her drink, put it down on the table and then crossed her arms in front of her. She looked coyly up at Harry and then back to her drink. Harry looked across at her confusedly and then realised that this was Amy, she was obviously a bit more reserved than Vera.

"Hello, another drink?" asked Harry proffering the jug to Nikki.

"Thank you, I'd like a new glass though," Nikki answered.

Harry returned from the bar with another pint for himself and placed the glass on the table, filled it and offered it to Nikki.

"I've not seen you here before, do you work near here?" Harry asked.

"Not far, I'm not one of those investment bankers if that's what you're thinking," Nikki added quickly.

"I wouldn't dream of such a thing," Harry said.

"Actually I'm an accountant for a small environmental charity," Nikki replied, twiddling a piece of hair round and round her finger.

"That sounds really worthwhile," Harry began but his efforts at sounding sincere weren't doing the words justice.

"Oh, I know, someone that spends all day staring at numbers has got to be dull. You're all the same." Nikki huffed and flicked her hair over her shoulder and glared at Harry.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Amy. I never said staring at numbers was dull. I spend a lot of my time at work looking for the tiny details; that one anomaly that answers all the questions." Harry said seriously.

"Really?" Nikki asked. "What do you do?"

"I'm a doctor," Harry replied and realised his mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He couldn't believe she'd got him again. It must have been the beer slowing him down.

"Ha ha!" crowed Nikki, her eyes glinting, all signs of the demure Amy abandoned. "She would have been easy, Harry and you blew it!" She drank some more of her margarita and heard Harry mutter.

"Who said I was looking for easy?"

"I didn't mean easy, easy!" Nikki clarified. "I meant she was nice, gentle…"

"Yes exactly the kind of person who doesn't want to hear on a first date that the bloke chatting them up spends his days with his hands digging around people's entrails and examining their stomach contents. It's not romantic, Nikki. I told you before it's a mood killer."

"Yes Harry but you don't have to say it like that, do you? I'm sure it would be a mood killer if you go on about digging around in entrails. Why can't you say something like 'you assist the police in murder investigations determining how and why people died?' That makes no mention of entrails or temperatures and everyone likes the idea of solving murder mysteries," Nikki explained.

"S'pose you could be right," he mumbled.

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right!" Nikki affirmed.

"So who's next then?" Harry grinned but he remembered who was next in the alphabet. Nikki really was quite good at this. He was surprised at how easily she changed her body language and how instantly he responded to her differently, no wonder she had half the MET round her little finger. He was curious as to how exactly she intended to do Barbara the buxom botanist, but she obviously had a plan, as she excused herself and disappeared off to the toilets.

He watched her wait to pick up yet another new glass on the way back to the table, flashing Adam another dazzler of a smile. Harry had already clocked two separate blokes, who followed her every move earlier in the evening and periodically checked to see what they were doing.

Adam had obviously made some comment to her, as he saw her laughing and wagging her finger at him, as if she were telling him off, or setting him straight. Knowing her, she probably was.

Out at the pub she was so different from the Nikki that he usually got to see. The one who could fall asleep on his shoulder at the cinema, the one who turned to him in a crisis and could look him straight in the eye without disguising that hers were filled with tears. The one who could put her arms around him and make him feel grounded and strong even when the world around him was spinning out of control. This Nikki, pub Nikki was fun, like Charlotte was fun, and all those other girls were fun; a diversion but actually he thought he preferred the real one. The one only he got to see. The one who every now and then let him look straight into her heart.


	8. Barbara

Nikki didn't sit down straight way when she got back to the table. He didn't know what she'd supplemented her cleavage with, but she'd done something. She'd opened the first few buttons on her blouse too whilst she'd been gone and gave him an eyeful as she leant over to pick up the jug to pour her next margarita. If he hadn't been so transfixed by the sight he would have laughed out loud.

'Why are men so shallow?' he wondered. 'Blond hair and breasts' he thought, that's what she had said. But there was a lot more to Nikki than that.

"Well hello," she said breathily. "My name's Barbara, nice to meet you…"

"Harry, Harry Cunningham," replied Harry standing up to shake her proffered hand, and making sure he kept his eyes on her face and not lower down. 'How exactly had she done that?' he wondered his mind returning to the inevitable.

"You look like you needed that drink," Nikki began.

"Yes, I was supposed to be meeting some work colleagues here, but they stood me up," Harry replied.

"I can't believe that, a handsome man like you, left alone in a place like this, there's women in here that could eat you alive," Nikki said conspiratorially and at a half whisper, that caused her to lean across the table again. "They don't know what they're missing."

"Did you come here on your own?" asked Harry, but in a voice that suggested he suspected she was one of the carnivorous women.

"Me? No I'm harmless, I'm just with some of the carnivorous women," Nikki waved her hand in the direction of a group of women, with enough fake tan to make an Oompa Loompa proud.

"So what makes you different?" Harry asked her.

"What other than the fake tan? I'm a lecturer at the University up the street, I just go out with the admin girls as it's a lot more fun than going out with my department," Nikki explained.

"You're department isn't great at social events?" Harry asked again.

"I'm a botanist, my department isn't great at anything lively. The closest we come to fun is the 'name that stick' competition at the Christmas party and documenting in fine detail the sex life of orchids."

"The sex life of orchids doesn't do it for you?" Harry joked, one eyebrow raised and lifted his glass.

"Frankly no, I much prefer the real thing," Nikki replied leaning even closer to him. "What about you handsome Harry, does your work do it for you?

Harry sprayed his beer across the table, as he accidentally inhaled it on hearing Nikki's last comment. He knew she was pretending not to know what he did, but really! She wasn't making this easy at all, but there again, maybe it was just the tequila taking its toll.

"I think they arrest people for that." Harry managed to splutter out.

"Oh you must be a teacher too!" Nikki said delightedly. "Secondary or university?"

Harry was still floundering.

"Err yes, I do do some student teaching, but most of my time is spent erm…" What was it she had told him to say? Oh yes "I assist the police with their investigations, finding out why people died." He felt rather proud of himself momentarily.

"Oh, you're a pathologist!" Nikki answered. "Why didn't you say? I walk past the Lyell Centre on my way into work every morning. Securities worse than Fort Knox, what do you guys keep in there?"

"Most of my colleagues," Harry quipped back.

"Is that why you got stood up? The rest of them can't figure out how to escape?" Nikki asked.

"Something like that." Harry replied.

"So do you think we could work out?" Nikki asked, purposely rearranging herself.

"Well, Barbara I have to say, you do have some remarkable assets, but I don't think a carnivorous botanist and a pathologist really have a long term future…" Harry was about to continue he'd got something playing in his mind a great joke formulating about a cross between a botanist and a pathologist but Nikki pulled back from the table, Barbara was gone.

"Why do we do this Harry?" Nikki asked.

Harry wasn't quite sure yet that he was talking to Nikki so he waited and let her continue.

"Why do we go out there and pick up unsuitable people, just so that when it all goes wrong and the relationship comes crashing down we can blame ourselves for picking out the unsuitable one in the first place," she sighed.

"Some of them aren't that bad," Harry countered.

"Your's or mine? Because really Harry you've had some doozies."

"Speak for yourself," Harry retorted.

"I know, I know, but it's just…" Nikki didn't finish. "Sorry, I didn't mean all that to come out. I was just overwhelmed for a moment by the utter futility of it all."

"Don't be like that, Nikki. We were just having some fun, weren't we AND at Zak's expense. You've got Chloe the charismatic chemist to go yet."

"Do you really want me to?" Nikki asked plaintively.

"Not much," Harry admitted truthfully. "But I don't think it's a fear of failure though that makes me pick out the unsuitable women," he continued.

"It's not?" Nikki asked, once again engaging in their conversation.

"No, I think I do it because I know I will never find anyone else that has everything I want and so I don't even bother looking too hard." Harry tried to look nonchalent, cursing himself for his error, he'd meant to say 'anyone' not 'anyone else' he prayed she hadn't noticed.

"You don't really believe there's a Mrs Right out there, do you?" Nikki asked incredulously but he could see her brain whirring trying to make sense of his last words.

Harry didn't answer and Nikki studied his face, working out all the possibilities.

"There was one that got away!" she surmised. "One of those girls didn't yield to the Harry Cunningham school of charm and special magic and you've never got over it!" she laughed but not in a triumphant way, just pleased with her own detective work. "Who was she Harry? You've got to spill the beans now."

"I don't," Harry mumbled and resumed his praying position.

"I'll make you drink margarita's until you tell me!" Nikki giggled.

"You will, won't you," Harry groaned.

"Harry you can't say something like that and not expect me to want to know more of the details!" Nikki gabbled out.

"But I didn't tell you any of the details," he cried.

"You didn't need to!" she laughed.

"Help me!" begged Harry wringing his hands and lightly tapping his head on them as they rested on the table.

* * *

><p><strong>Who is Mrs Right? please send your answers and any other comments to the review button below.<strong>


	9. Harry again

**Thanks for all the reviews, sorry I forgot to thank you all last time, glad you're having fun.**

"Was it Penny?" Nikki asked.

"No, it wasn't Penny," Harry stated. "She wasn't exactly one that got away, was she," he said by way of clarification.

"Hmm," said Nikki her brain buzzing despite the tequila. "So she's beautiful?"

"Oh yes,"

"And she knows what you do?"

"Yes," Harry still hadn't looked up from the table.

"So, she's just freaked out by what you do?" Nikki continued.

"No,"

"Your mother wouldn't approve of her."

"I think she quite likes her." Harry mumbled.

"Your mother knows her! It's not one of your cousins is it?"

"No!"

"An old teacher of yours, what is she twenty years older than you?"

"No!" Harry said louder than ever.

"I can see you doing having a Mrs Robinson fantasy," Nikki mused.

"Nikki!" Harry half shouted.

"Does she fancy you?" Nikki asked.

"I have no idea." Harry said truthfully.

"Have you ever let on, that you like her?"

Harry's answer was an unintelligible noncommittal noise.

"Well, Harry she's either a complete slapper or she's way out of your league. Why haven't you ever said anything to her?" Nikki said.

"'s'complicated," Harry replied.

"Have you known her long?"

"How long is long?" Harry responded cryptically.

"Have you got her number?" Nikki asked her eyes shining in anticipation. She wanted to make Harry uncomfortable this evening and here he'd handed her a gift horse.

"You have, haven't you! You have her number!" Nikki stared at him but Harry remained motionless.

"You should call her," she continued. "You've got to at least tell her how you feel, otherwise you're dooming every other relationship to fail before they've even started."

"But what if she turns me down?" Harry asked, finally raising his head from the table and meeting her gaze.

"You've still got me!" Nikki insisted and I'll even do Chloe the charismatic chemist to cheer you up,"

"Thanks," he replied, sarcasm ramped up to maximum.

"Go on, go and do it," Nikki scolded him. "No time like the present and all that."

"This will end in tears," Harry warned her mirroring her use of misplaced maxims.

"So she** is** out of your league! Harry you old dog you!" she clapped her hands delightedly. "Go!"

Harry picked his phone up off the table and made his way towards the bar. The place was filling up now and there were too many people in the way for her to see him clearly, she figured he must have gone to the toilets. As soon as Harry had left the table she felt herself being watched.

Nikki poured the last of the margarita into her glass and waited for him to return. Harry was useless at keeping secrets from her.

'How had she never known about this before?' she wondered. Well if Harry was making his phone call he must have got through, he'd been gone ages. She could feel the stare of one of the bar guys, so quickly reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. She could text Zak and ask him where he was.

No sooner had she picked it up, it began to ring. She just assumed it was Zak, and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Zak, where the hell are you?" she shouted down the phone.


	10. Nikki?

**Wow, your response is amazing, not since I had Mrs. C causing a stir in a previous story was my inbox bombarded (in a wonderfully good way!) with so many of you going "Agh, eek and it's got to be Harry…." Thank you SO much. I hope it lives up to expectations….**

"Nikki?"

"Ooh, Harry did you call her? How did it go? Why are you calling me? Just come back over here and tell me about it. The sharks are circling out here Harry. Don't leave me out here on my own much longer!" Nikki cried.

"Nikki!" Harry repeated.

"What? Harry stop joking around, have you called her or not, what did she say?" Nikki asked as she looked all around trying to spot him.

"Nikki," Harry said a third time, how could she be so oblivious. "I did call her,"

"Yes, but what did she say?

"Well, she said…"

"No scrap that Harry," Nikki interrupted "What did you say? You'd better have thought of something good, if this girl is as amazing as you say she is, I hope you said something good."

"I said something," Harry replied.

"Something, Harry? Something doesn't sound good. Shit Harry! We should have practised before I let you call her. I'm an idiot," she babbled but she was obviously getting nowhere so decided to change track slightly.

"Well if you're not going to tell me what you said, to the woman of your dreams, the one you compare every other woman to, the one you can't live without you could at least tell me what she said to you." Nikki declared.

There was a long pause and then Harry said.

"You really want to know?"

"Of course I want to know, come on Harry we tell each other everything." Nikki replied.

'Not everything' thought Harry. He was making his way back across the bar towards the table now.

"She said…" Harry began.

"Yes!"

"She said, 'Zak, where the hell are you?'" Harry stated, just as the two rugby players in front of him moved off to a corner leaving him a clear view of Nikki's confused face.

"But Harry, I said that about two minutes ago. You were supposed to tell me what this girl that you're crazy about said, when you phoned her and told her that you'd always fancied her, or whatever train wreck of a sentence you came up with..."

"But I did phone her, I have phoned her, I am phoning her." Harry explained.

He saw Nikki look across the room to him, look into her phone, look back at him and drop the phone onto the table. She swallowed and then pointed to herself. Harry smiled shyly at her and nodded.

He walked back to the booth and sat down.

"I was right," Nikki said tremulously. "She is way out of your league!" and let out a broad smile to assure him she didn't mean a word of it and took hold of his hand.

They sat in silence for a while, quietly adjusting and processing. Nikki was worried; most of the ideas about this girl of his were the ones she had formulated, she had no clear picture of what Harry really wanted or what he was expecting and he had a date in less than an hour.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked gently, tilting her head back so that it rested on his shoulder in a position they had sat in so often before.

"S'complicated," he repeated into her hair.

"But…" began Nikki.

"Oh, Nikki how do I even start? I never knew where to start, what to say?

"Then why didn't you do something?" she asked, sitting forward and looking him in the eye. "It's not like there's been a lack of opportunities," she added.

"I know, I know," he said scrubbing at his hair. "But I never wanted it to be because I was angry or relieved, or frightened or bored or jealous or drunk or just so glad that you were still my friend. Nikki you are my best friend and I'm terrified of messing that up and I get so confused sometimes and then more time passes and it just gets harder and harder. Then the times in between when we're not angry, or relieved or frightened or bored or jealous or drunk just keep getting smaller and smaller. Somewhere you seem to have picked up this notion that a man's passion is directly linked to the speed with which he can get you into bed, I can't compete with them, I've already failed in fact but I don't want to compete with them. I don't want to take drunk flirty Nikki back to my bed."

"Harry?" Despite the stillness she had instilled over her body, her brain was racing and not comprehending all that Harry had said. Except that last sentence, that one had stung.

"Then what exactly is all this about? You don't want Charlotte, or Amy or Barbara or Vera because they're not me, but you don't want me either? Do us all a favour and take a vow of celibacy then and get lost," she said the tears smarting in her eyes.

"Nikki," he soothed, raising his hand to her cheek. "I don't want to take drunk flirty Nikki home, because that's not the Nikki I'm in love with. I don't want to sleep with Nikki the perfect pathologist, or Nikki the passionate people's crusader, they are all aspects of you that I admire to varying extents but they are all just personas you wear, just like you've done tonight with these other girls. I hadn't really thought about it until tonight but it is what you do. Above anything else in the whole world I want to go home with Nikki Alexander, no pretending, no fake boobs, no dodgy accents. I want the one who cries with me when she's sad, and teases me when I deserve it and is always there to say the right thing when I'm about to go off the rails, even if she's balanced precariously on a precipice herself, and I don't want to have to leave quickly in the morning after some awful row. I love the real you Nikki, not the one you think you ought to be. Just you. Just you."

He had to wipe the tears away that had fallen down her cheek. Nikki was staggered.

"You really mean that?" she asked.

"You prefer my pig headed stubbornness to my air pump bra?" she asked a smile beginning to form on her face.

"You love…me?" she continued still processing all he had said.

Harry nodded but he couldn't help his brain from thinking about the air pump bra; 'so that's how she did it.'

"Heaven help me, but yes I do!" he said obviously checking out her cleavage as he did so. "I'm thinking of retracting that comment about the fake boobs though."

"Too late now," she smiled. "What are you going to do?"

"Kiss you, I expect," he said lazily.

"No, I mean about Charlotte." Nikki asked checking her watch.

"Oh, I phoned her earlier and cancelled, I said something had come up and it was important." Harry confessed.

"Liar," Nikki responded.

"Something has come up, that is important," Harry restated. "I'm not lying."

"Yes, but I bet you made is sound like a work something," Nikki insisted, she could always tell when he was lying.

"Are you complaining?" Harry asked leaning in close to her, switching his gaze from her eyes to her lips.

"Not yet," Nikki replied licking her lips right on cue.


	11. Zak at last

Zak was furious. It was 8:15 by the time he finally got to O'Connell's. There was no telling what damage had been done in the previous hour. The bill would be horrendous. He would have missed all the best bits, if they had even bothered and now Harry would be off to meet Charlotte. He'd be left alone with Nikki and she would be really pissed off at him. Even after a few drinks the thought of confronting a pissed off Nikki was appalling. He'd rather stand his corner and have one of those detectives yell at him for half an hour.

The bar was busy, he did a preliminary scan and didn't spot them. They'd probably had one drink and gone home when he didn't turn up. He could believe Leo had made him rerun all those samples. The man was infuriating focussed on the fine details. The results had been no different to the ones he'd handed in earlier but somehow Leo had discovered that he'd put the wrong column on his HPLC samples and so everything had to be redone.

Zak waved a tenner at Adam, maybe he would look on it as a down payment.

"Hey, how's it going? I heard you were picking up the tab tonight, what did you do to deserve that misfortune?" Adam asked.

"It's a long story," Zak admitted. "Can I get a beer, please?"

Having now made it to the front of the bar, Zak was confused to see a pile of £5 notes in front of the real ale pumps.

"What's going on?" Zak asked. "Have you been selling me out as a charity case, and this is the whip round from the regulars because they know how much damage those two can do to a bar tab in an hour?"

"Not quite," Adam admitted.

There was a sudden loud groan from a blond man at the far end of the bar.

"Five minutes and five seconds, I can't believe it's possible, I thought you died without oxygen," he muttered.

"What is going on?" Zak asked "Are they still here?"

"Oh yes, they're still here," Adam laughed. "I think you'll find they are what's going on."

There was another groan and another fiver chucked on the pile.

"This is just painful," the man cried.

"What do you mean?" Zak queried.

Adam gestured his head at the row of upturned spirit bottles hanging behind the bar.

"They've been doing shots for over an hour?" Zak cried, trying to keep the panic out of his voice and failing completely.

"No," Adam laughed. "Look past the bottles."

Zak stared, there was nothing past the bottles. Just the wall and Adam's Australian flag, it wasn't one of those pubs with the bar in the middle so you could see through. Behind the bottles was the flag and the wall; just the mirrored wall.

It was only then that he saw their reflection, just under the southernmost star of the Southern Cross. He was glad Adam hadn't handed over the beer yet, he had a feeling he would have dropped it straight out of his hand. Of all the sights he had anticipated this evening, this, was not one of them.

"Close your mouth, mate, you'll catch flies," Adam laughed.

Zak looked from the mirror to the pile of money and back to the mirror again.

"You're all betting on how long they can stay like that?" Zak spluttered.

"You bet we are, Frank here thought he was sure to win, but he's on eight minutes 59 seconds and there's still a minute to go, and they don't look ready to stop to me," the man next to Zak laughed.

Zak pulled out his phone, he had to do something.

"No, no, you can't phone them, that's not fair, put the phone down and we'll let you in on it. Pick your time, name your number just don't phone them," the man continued.

Zak laughed. "I work with them, I can't bet on that! I can't stand here whilst you all, you all…"

"Course, you can son, I heard they think you're paying the bill, a bit of loose change would come in handy!" his bar neighbour said.

Zak looked into the mirror again, he was surprised to be honest. Not surprised that the two of them were sat there in the middle of a busy pub necking like teenagers. Not that, but mostly because they looked like a couple of teenagers. Passionate? Yes. In a hurry to move to the next step? No.

From the way they argued with each other he fully expected that any movement in their relationship would be as explosive and dramatic as the way they fought. He expected there to be some kind of sonic boom or cataclysmic weather event to herald the change. He thought when the change did come, it would be sudden, fervent and quick. It was one of the main reasons he always checked the locker room was empty, walking in on that… he shuddered. But there they were, in front of his eyes contentedly kissing and just that; kissing.

"Here's your beer," Adam announced. Putting the pint down in front of him but not taking the money that Zak was obliviously still holding in his hand. "What time are you going for then?"

"Well Harry's got a date at nine," Zak announced, causing his neighbour to choke on his crisps.

"I don't think he'll be going," he coughed out.

"What time do you close?" laughed Zak.

"You're not suggesting they could stay like that for the next three hours. They'll put the other customers off," Adam said. "And anyway that's surely not biologically possible, is it?"

"Knowing those two, I'd say anything is possible, talking of which where is this bill then?" Zak asked.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Harry left you this." Adam said as he handed over a napkin with Harry's left handed spidery scrawl on.

_Thank you._

_I figure I'll probably owe you._

_Ring Charlotte and tell her I'm busy. _

_Please._

_07965 877781_

_Harry_

_P.S. Enjoy your beer_

Zak looked over to Adam with a puzzled expression.

"Seems like Harry knew it was going to be his lucky night, he settled the bill for you half hour ago, before all this" Adam gestured backwards towards the mirror, "kicked off."

Zak raised his glass to the oblivious couple in the mirror and called cheers. He then phoned the number Harry had left for him and told Charlotte that Harry had been called out to a scene, and wouldn't be back until late. He turned back to the growing pile of five pound notes and placed his bet on seventeen minutes and seven seconds. So there had been something useful in all that information Charlie had told him on that first day, they'd known each other for seven years she'd said, well in that case they had a lot of catching up to do, seventeen minutes didn't seem unreasonable. Practice makes perfect after all.

**Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Best wishes again for all of you doing exams, don't forget to take a break, remember Vera and have a laugh every now and then, it's a great stress reliever (and I shall expect messages in August to tell me how you got on). And Harry hugs to Hiroko and all the other mum's out there with children taking exams, as I am beginning to suspect with my son doing SATs and a piano exam in the same week, the being the mum bit could almost and I say almost be as hard.**

**Come on, come on, I know your imaginations are far better at getting them home from the pub than I can write…**

**Love to everyone who's read or reviewed but especially Lilypad.**

**d**


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